I was on my way to Denver for simulator training in the new aircraft I would soon be piloting. Not being in any hurry I had decided to try Amtrak to see if it was as pleasant as many said that it was. Sitting at the tiny bar with her back to me was a tall blonde. Unbidden my brain immediately painted a long forgotten image of a girl named Sue who some years before had bestowed upon me a brief but very pleasant kiss, accompanied by a hint of tongue. It was on the occasion of my promotion to Lieutenant in the Navy. I had invited three fellow pilots and their significant other’s to a small celebratory dinner at the Officers Club. Upon their arrival Sue had bestowed that kiss as she greeted me and said ‘Congratulations.’ A dance later in the evening was also memorable as Sue smiled and moved close till our bodies were touching at more points than not. No woman ever did that unless she meant to. She managed to press against my body from thighs to breasts causing the inevitable result.. We had an open relationship, and she liked that freedom - needed it, in fact. But she also, begrudingly, was fond of me. "It won't work," she said as she was toweling her hair that morning. The steam from the shower was still floating around the room and I, as always, was mesmerized by the muscles in her long, lithe legs. I traced a few water droplets that clung to her buttock. She swiped my hand away. "Listen, Johnny." I'm listening," I said."Well what do you think is going to happen?"I couldn't really say. And what I haven't said, yet, is why I was the way I was, why I was fine with an open relationship, why I wasn't more possessive of Stephanie. It was because I still had deep feelings for Monica. Deep, uncomplicated feelings. I wanted her, and that was wrong. What I thought, being with Stephanie, was that I could live a (somewhat) normal life. I didn't need her to love me, but I did need to try and move past this longing. It had been a year since I'd graduated, a handful of.
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